


The Laurens Dream.

by Geronimoandbemagnificent



Series: The Stories of Tonight [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, LAURENS LIKES CATS OKAY, Lams - Freeform, M/M, Picnic, Sad, and when he dies, because he'll never love anyone like he loved Laurens, but like, dream - Freeform, im in Lams hell, im so sorry, implied Hamliza, like it takes place in the time it was supposed to, no au?, she knows that laurens has a special place in Alex's heart, thats a hole she can't ever fill, very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 15:02:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8718430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geronimoandbemagnificent/pseuds/Geronimoandbemagnificent
Summary: Hamilton writes Laurens a letter, after waking up from yet another dream about the two of them.    Laurens slid his hand to tangle with Alex’s. He had felt Alex tense, like he always did, and had squeezed gently. John reassured him that everything was okay. And it shouldn't have worked, but it had, and Alex wanted to kiss him then and there. He scoffed, trying to stifle tears. I'm still scared, even in my dreams, but you were there and that made it okay.





	

**Author's Note:**

> IM SO SORRY  
> Many thanks to my rock, Sun <3

_I had a dream about you._

  
Hamilton scratched down on paper. He'd shot up in bed, the images vivid in his mind. It was so real, he'd almost expected to wake up next to Laurens. Eliza tried to console him but she wasn't the one he needed. And she, bless her, knew that and left him be. He'd walked out of their room and sat at his desk, cradling a glass of wine in his hand.

_It was a lovely dream. It really was._

He had set up for a picnic; miraculously, he and Laurens both had had the day off. There was no war to fight over, no anxiety over who sees the two of them together. It was a crisp fall afternoon, a gentle breeze cooling them down.

They had met up in the town square and had sat against the fountain. They had made a game out of throwing grapes to each other, trying to catch it in each other's mouths. They laughed non-stop as the other missed, the grape hitting their nose or their teeth.

_We were at a picnic. Just the two of us._

He had filled a glass with wine, handing it to John, his voice hoarse from laughing. The picnic is nothing fancy, some wine, cheese, bread, and grapes. He just wanted to talk to him.

And talk they did. Laurens had moved so he sat next to Alex, and had rested his head against Alex's shoulder. They had spoke about the Constitution, and had an in depth discussion about how they could go about bettering it. They playfully argued over the shapes that the clouds were.

  
Laurens slid his hand to tangle with Alex’s. He had felt Alex tense, like he always did, and had squeezed gently. John reassured him that everything was okay. And it shouldn't have worked, but it had and Alex wanted to kiss Laurens then and there.

  
He scoffed, trying to stifle tears. _I'm still scared to be open about who I love, even in my dreams, but you were there and that made it all okay._

  
He smiled at Alex, and it made him feel...special. He never shared emotions, not easily, but with Laurens it's just so easy. Laurens drew emotions from Alex that had been buried for years upon years of heartbreak.

_You attracted a stray cat, like you always do._

A calico cat had sauntered over and rubbed against Laurens' thigh. He jumped from the unexpected contact but befriended the cat immediately. The calico had jumped into Laurens' lap, and purred as he scratched behind the cat's ears. Alex took the time to memorize the freckles scattered across his lover's cheeks, the dimple that showed when he smiled brightly.

_You wanted to take the cat home with us. You wanted to stay. With me._

John had convinced Alex to go on a walk, hands intertwined, swinging them back and forth between them. Their conversation was accompanied by the crushing of leaves under their feet, and the calico following behind him.

  
“Come live with me.” Laurens said, stopping them in their tracks. It couldn't have sounded more like a proposal. They'd found themselves in a path, the branches of trees meeting in an arch.

  
Hamilton blushed. "Really?"

"Of course, Alex," Laurens had smiled. "We'll make a great family. You know, you and me and Charlotte." He'd gestured to his cat.

  
“Charlotte?” Hamilton had teased lightly, because he was so in love. So in love with the man that stood in front of him, whose face had changed from happy, to nervous, almost scared. He was so caring. And joyous. How could Alexander say no? “Of course I'll live with you, idiot.”

  
Laurens had let out a laugh, jumping and spinning in a circle. Suddenly Alex wasn't twenty. He was nineteen, fawning over his best friend. He had fallen in love with Laurens all over again.

  
Laurens had smiled and bit his lip, moving to close the gap between the two of them. Alexander's heart had melted, his hands rose to thread through Laurens' hair. He’d marveled at how Laurens always managed to smell like cinnamon sugar cookies from the bakery, how he just radiates warmth. Charlotte walked around their legs in figure eights, her fur soft against their legs.

  
_Yeah, I think we’d make a great family._

  
Their conversation had continued as they walked in a circle until they found their place against the fountain, sitting down again. Charlotte had made herself at home in Laurens’ lap, eliciting laughter from the man. Alex had knelt down and kissed John again, reveling in how at home he felt.

  
Charlotte however, had let out an unimpressed mewl. She leapt out of his lap and found solace in the wicker basket. They’d pulled away, giggling like schoolboys. Alex moved to take the cat's place, but sat against the cement.

_Then it all went wrong._

"What's going on?" Alex asked, his voice breaking. "Why?" Laurens had pulled them together for one last kiss. He was crying, he was—disappearing. Turning into butterflies. Alexander had looked down, and noticed the red blood stained through John's blouse.

"I wanted to say goodbye, and that I—" John had hissed, holding his stomach. Blood had seeped through his fingers. A bullet hole. He was in pain. Alex’s heart was broken.

"I know. I know, love. I do too." Alex had shushed his love, and had pressed their foreheads together before Laurens had disappeared completely.

_You were going to say something, and it was okay because I knew it, and I hope you know that I love you too. Please, come home soon. Quit your sword my friend, put on the toga, come to Congress._

_Yrs For Ever,  
A. Ham_

Tears stain the bottom of the paper. He stuffs the letter in an envelope and addresses it. Some part of him knew Laurens would never get it. 

The next day when Eliza rushed into Hamilton's study with a letter from South Carolina, Alex knew his fears were true. 

"Alexander, are you okay?" Eliza asked. Hamilton dug the heels of his hands in his eyes, drawing in a shaky breath. 

"I-I have so much work to do." His voice was small, almost a whisper. 

He took the letter, that should've smelt of cinnamon, smelt of dried ink and sadness. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is a part of my "The Stories of Tonight" series, based off a playlist I made of songs that gave me Lams feels lmao. 
> 
> The idea of the butterflies came from my mother, who sees her mother when she sees a butterfly. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are very much appreciated!! 
> 
> Come say hi!  
> Maggieisnotacat.Tumblr.com


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